May 2013
tardisity:
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
“Maybe if your dick was thicker than your goddamn eyebrows we wouldn’t be having...”
– Gay couple arguing outside Walmart (via twinkmob)
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
tickettoheaven:
chafing-nipples:
dangermat:
when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide
that’s pretty fucking metal
I’d say it’s pretty fucking
bananas
holepsi:
YOU
HAVE
NO
FUCKING
IDEA
HOW
MUCH
I
LOVE
EUROVISION
fictitiousfake:
J.K Rowling said that her inspiration for Hagrid came from when she was 19 in a pub in the west country and this terrifying looking guy came in with these other biker guys and the only thing he talked to J.K about was how his cabbages were getting on
alxesi:
will.i.pm
dont-argue-with-your-serperior:
3ds more like $200 pokemon machine
tvspecial:
brangail:
fakeyouout:
i finally know where i belong
Same. ~Brandy
thanks brandy
amoying:
it takes two to have anal, that’s why it’s called an anus
fffcuk:
*clears throat, taps microphone* boys *applause*
aye one time i owed the library like 400 dollas...
niggaimdeadass:
it was the summer of 7th grade going to 8th
a nigga was stressed and depressed
walking home like
“how the fuck did i manage to do this to myself”
on the brink of tears everyday scared to tell my mom
luckily they had this program
“read away your fees” or some shit like that
every half an hour you sat in the library and read it took 2 dollars off
my niggas.
my...
lonelywhiteasian:
why reach for the stars when you can reach for my dick
fartgallery:
shoot for the stars because if you destroy them night time will become darker and then it’ll be easier to commit crimes
how to boys
foie:
greet
chat
chat
chat
joke
joke
joke
joke
compliment appearance
compliment personality
flirt
flirt
flirt
hug
hug
hug
hug
hug
hug
amorous hug
amorous hug
first kiss
kiss
kiss
kiss
make out
make out
make out
make out
woo-hoo
woo-hoo
woo-hoo
propose
macaronivevo:
yeah im a gamer girl(:
vagisodium:
yes i understand there are plenty of fish in the sea but there are very few people for me to date i don’t get how fish correlate to the conversation we’re having here
